5 ways to live a more rested life: The obstacles and opportunities

Many reading this blog are becoming increasingly aware of the signals to slow down and catch our breath. As the messaging of how to live better, longer, happier and more engaged lives becomes more insistent, it can often feel like just another urgent task we need to jam into our ever expanding to do list. So how do we unpack Rest and start to sift through its contents in a way that is slower, more meaningful and manageable?

It’s important to acknowledge the mixed messaging which often polarises the vital need for rest against the “must do” fast track, successful, keep pushing model of “success”. So how much do we value rest: personally, within our families, workplaces, communities, on social media or news avenues? How often have you heard or said “I am so busy, the kids are flat out, work is insane, I haven’t stopped all day, I have no time to do …..”.as a normal preamble to a general conversation? The normalisation and expectation of a high stress and no time life, fits into a world view that validates high achievement, constant movement and little time for pause.  

It’s no wonder we struggle to implement restorative practices isn’t it? So let’s explore some restorative components of health and wellbeing and widen the lens to take in the obstacles and opportunities that can present themselves when we take a breath or two.

1. Learning to say “No”

Sounds pretty simple in theory, however, in practice you may need to make small adjustments to the when and where rather than an all or nothing approach. Take some time to reflect on your relationship with setting boundaries and how much you value being a caregiver. How would it feel to say “I need to think about that” or “I can’t manage that at this moment”. How would your "caregiving self” who is depleted and overwhelmed feel if 10% of your caregiving was directed inward? What would small measured doses of rest look like and what is manageable to you? Perhaps saying “No” can mean saying “Yes” to someone who may be offering you an outreached hand that feels warm and present. Learning to gently decelerate from “Yes” so you can find the slow in “No” is an opportunity to create change that filters outwards into your circle of community.

2. Positive Thoughts and Gratitude

When we are overly tasked and chronically stressed it may be hard to authentically locate a sense of gratitude. Taking the conversation away from good or bad thoughts and feelings to simply acknowledging what you are experiencing can provide the opportunity to find a sense of peace, ease or even just feeling ok. Remember what it feels like after you have had a dear friend or loved one listen. You may have experienced an outpouring of frustration, sadness, fear or guilt but afterward, experienced a sense of calm, peace, or even laughter and a deep sense of love. These are the seeds of genuine gratitude which can grow when we (or another) acknowledges our experiences without shutting down, turning away or admonishing them. Mindfulness practices can support you becoming internal kind listener to invoke a deeper sense of true gratitude.

3. Returning to your core values

What are the things that inspire you? What do you value in the world right now? What motivates you to do you each and every day? Often core values are simple - being kind, connecting to family, looking after nature, supporting those with less than ourselves, feeling inspired by causes that foster wellbeing and care are some examples. Slowing down into your true, heart centred values can help to steer you off the racing, competing, materially focussed track onto a gentle road where you can take in moments of inspiration and beauty. This deeply fosters self-care because you may simply be acknowledging your hearts deepest desire and truth. And that you matter and are part of life’s rich tapestry.

4. Waking rest

Sounds intriguingly simple but with the ever present distraction of devices, we may while away large chunks of potential resting time by scrolling through the socials. Waking rest is a conscious period of pause; quiet and reflective thought, allowing the brain time to consider and process whatever arises spontaneously. Ideally, start by spending 5 to 20 minutes once or multiple times per day in a quiet comfortable space without distractions, where you can also engage in some repetitive activity that does not require focussed thought (raking leaves, walking dog, folding laundry).

Studies on waking rest are limited, however, emerging evidence shows that neurophysiological rhythms found in sleep match those in waking rest. Waking rest may support memory consolidation, reflecting on past experiences, thoughts about the future, and any other thoughts or feelings that may arise when we don’t force any idea or direction.

Think of waking rest is simply the opportunity to “be” rather than to “do." We can’t measure being as an external value but internally, we can experience just being as a sense of timelessness, spaciousness and effortlessness. Consider setting an alarm twice a day for a 10 minute, screen free rest; a cup of tea, resting your eyes on something easy, gently tuning into sore muscles and providing some self-massage or stretch can be a great starting point in valuing rest time.

5. Restorative movement

Exhausted bodies need slow and mindful movement rather than a fast paced, cortisol inducing rhythm. Find restorative practices you feel curious about. Spend some time reading or asking others about their experiences in practices such as yoga, qigong, breathing practices, stretching, meditation or mindfulness. Consider how chronic or acute stress is impacting on your body right now and what your most pressing symptoms are? What therapy feels like a good fit? What do you need to set in place to carve out time towards one consistent practice?

Take time after your practice to notice what feels different and how long that feeling lasts. Taking a slowdown approach to movement can be an adjustment. Consider that creating this restorative break provides more power, energy and stability for higher intensity pursuits.  

Rest and Restore retreats can provide the necessary pause to rediscover the infinite value in rest and offer you sustaining tools and restorative therapies to rebuild balance.